Online Safety

The internet is a wonderful thing. I'm always glad to live in a time and place where any time I want I can log on and chat with my friends, look at porn and very easily hook up with likeminded guys for anything from a friendly drink on Canal Street to potential boyfriends or eighteen man orgies. This article is about how to get the most out of your online experiences and stay safe.

Basics

Don't give out personal information. Someone might want to know your name and postcode so they can find you. Just don't go giving out information you don't want just anyone to overhear, stuff like bank details (I know but it happens), security codes for your apartment block or even your phone number on a first chat. In any case it is wise to assume that there could be people seeing the screen that you don't want to - they might be in an internet cafe for example.

Meeting for the first time

It's easier to go around to their house or yours as that is where all the fun stuff is - but for a first meet it may be wiser to meet in a public place. Let someone know where you are, and when you're going to be back. Maybe have a well timed phone call 10 minutes in. Rape fantasies are fun between consenting adults. Being raped and murdered and having your body dumped out at sea is less so.

Kink Wise

Some people aren't actually in it for the getting it on and are a lot happier to just chat rather than go all the way and meet someone. Frustrating perhaps for you but sometimes people have reasons . they might be shy, not out or first timers. The best policy in my eyes is honesty and patience. As long as everyone is up front about what they want then things go much better.

Communication

Chat to the person you're meeting and make sure you both have a clear idea of what the other person wants, the limits to which they are happy going to and so on. A good dominant will have a clear idea in his mind how the scene will go before hand. Of course bondage is an evolving thing and scenes often change as they go along but a clear plan means that everyone should get what they want. It's also worth just checking what safe words people use and for a first meet it's usually nice to have the option of one.

References

If possible see if you can chat with some other people the person you're meet has played with before. 99% of people in the BDSM world are pretty cool, safe and sane - and if they're not there's usually people who will be able to tell you. If you ask really nicely maybe one of the references might want to join in too!